IT'S SHINY.

So, I got inspired. Sue me.

Chael will comment on this at a later time, when people are actually awake. Haha.

CHRIIIIISTMAS.

So, for Christmas today, I got a unicorn. Be jealous.

Just kidding. I got an iPod, a longboard and clothes. And some really good food.

Then your mom invited me over for some late night holiday cheer. Just kidding. Not really.

Then Chael came over and told me a secret; you're adopted.

Merry Christmas!

Chael: Wait, before we go I would just like to point out that in fact you are not adopted, Brookie is. She just doesn't like to face the facts and jump into the proverbial pool of realization. And that being said I would like to end this post on a happy, not adopted note... I got your mom for Christmas, goodnight!

IT'S CHRISTMAS FUCKIN EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, me and Brookie were just sitting around, and Brookie says, "Tomorrow's Christmas!" And I said, "Holy fuck it is!"

This has been happening to me all day. I'll be just sittin' around, and then I'll remember that tomorrow is Christmas. It's like a child remembering that he still has the rest of his giant lollipop in the fridge...over..and over.. and over. And after saying that, Brookie reminded me of that one time I left my giant lollipop at her house, and her mom threw it away.... I am now sad. But hey! TOMORROW'S CHRISTMAS!

(Off topic)
This has nothing to do with Christmas, but I have to share it.
So as we were sitting here, writing this blog post, Brookie got mad, and screamed "I'M GONNA FUCK YOU!"
She then immediately looked at me, and said, "I mean .. I'm gonna fuck you up... O.O." Then I said "Ooookaaayyyyyy .... O.O. " Then she said "No, wait, thats exactly what I meant >:3 ", and puts her hand on my computer. I asked what she was doing, and she said "Rubbing your hard-drive ^.^ " ... I immediately burst out laughing... And then we high-five'd. <3
......I know what your thinking, and the answer is...NO! You are NOT as awesome as us, NO! You will NEVER be as good looking, NO! Your mother does NOT love you like she says she does, And NO! Mommy and daddy were NOT playing wrestle that one time when you walked in.
But hey.... tomorrow's Christmas :o

THE STORY BEHIND THE FAT UNICORN.

Hello. You see that thing up there? And you see how I, Chael, am frustrated with Brookie and the chubby unicorn?.... Well... when I was drawing said "thing up there" I was imagining that Brookie bought said chubby unicorn, without me knowing.... And it has now shat on the floor.

Brookie: Please take note that I did not actually buy a chubby unicorn named 'Glutter' who decided to shit on the floor. This is just a part of Chael's imagination. I'd buy a bad-ass wolf named Fang who would then rule the world.

Chael: ......You so would buy the fat unicorn...

Brookie: ...Perhaps. But I sure as HELL wouldn't name him 'Glutter'. That's just fucked up man. I'd name him... Horny. Hahaha. Ha. Get it? Horny?

Chael: .... You so would name him Glutter..

Brookie: .........Maybe. MAYBE. Asshole.

Chael: ... No...you would for sure name him Glutter.

Brookie: ...Hahaha, nah, I'd name him Debbie ;)

Chael: *GASP!!!* YOU TYRANT! THATS MY MOMS NAME!!

Brookie: Or I could name him Brian. That'd be just... weird though. And your dad doesn't remind me of a fat unicorn who shits on the floor.

Chael: I'm gonna make her read this post. SO FUCK YOU... I mean... That's not nice what you did... Hi mom.

Brookie: Man, fuck yo couch. If she read this we'd be screwed. o.O Anally. No lube.

Chael: ........But I'm too young for sex....Like your brother.

Brookie: Hells yes. Guys. 13 year old. Already doin' it doggy-style. RIDICULOUS. But that's not the point. The point is... well. Fuck.What is the point of that picture?

Chael: The point is......THE END

MY CHILDHOOD WAS FULL OF BLOOD, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES, AND OSTRICHES.

CHAEL: I think its time for a childhood story.....

You have the choice of -
1. Ostrich.
2. The time my brother bit my head.
Or 3. The time i almost died.. which isn't funny at all.

Now since (are you happy now David?) no one reads this blog, I will choose for you (you meaning the theoretical people that are SUPPOSED to read this blog...).
And I choose Ostrich.

Okay so once upon a time (13 years ago) my dad was working on our neighbors house (hes a carpenter)
and as hes going home he and my brother see an ostrich running in the field across from our house. Now I know what your thinking "this is a load of bull shit" I promise you on my dog Chessy's grave that this is not bull shit or any other kind of shit. In fact, we live in what I like to call "the middle of nowhere". It's located between the arc of the covenant and Waldo. So it's not really that hard to believe that an animal only native to Africa would be running around in our yard... considering there's an ostrich farm not to far away form where I live.


So my dad, being the smart person that he is, called that ostrich farm....Well, they said we could keep it cause they didn't want to come pick the damned thing up...  Because we totally have use for an ostrich.


So my dad, being the not so smart person that he is, got in his truck and chased the ostrich. Eventually, it got caught in the bob-wire surrounding the field. I actually have no idea how they got it into one of our horse pins, but they did. Beforehand, though, it ran up to our house, stuck its head inside my car, and scared my mother.
  
So they got it in the pin, and it basically just stood there, until that night.


Long story short it was making mating calls, making it impossible for my parents to sleep. So my dad goes out in the middle of the night with a flashlight, and a machete, planning to cut the ostrich's head off..... Now.. this would have been an easy task if it were not for the fact, that ostriches are fast mother fuckers, and don't appreciate you trying to decapitate them. So every time my dad swung his mighty machete, the ostrich simply.. ducked. So my dad got out his gun, and shot that bitch in the face. The next morning he plucked, skinned, and cooked the ostrich... We ate it. Nuff said.

THE END.

INSANITY CAT.

Insanity cat. He's watching you.

                                                       He's climbin' in yo windows. ^


Hello small children and the elderly. this is insanity cat.


Don't be frightened, he only wants you to pet him, and give him treats while he holds you hostage, and slowly peels your skin off with a rusty spoon.

So, small children and the elderly, don't turn around... cause guess what. Insanity cat is watching you.

PENGUIN-PEOPLE.

So, today, Chael and I went to Barnes&Noble, and then the movies. It was quite enjoyable, until the very end.

So, we went into B&N to pass the time before the movie started. We enjoyed ourselves, walking about and talking. But then an evil idea planted itself in our teenage minds. There were many stuffed animals in the kids section of B&N.

And there are many, many sexual positions to put them in. Which we did.

                                                          Cookie monster's a perv. ^

It was extremely innapropriate and immature. But also amazing and hilarious, imagining the outcome of our animal-positioning. Then we left and went to the movies.

Chael and I were like, That movie was awesome! Then we walked outside and we were like, dude.

It's freaking cold.

Note that, it was 12:30 at night, and we were in thin shirts. We then stayed that way for about 15 minutes.

Chail can explain the rest. Ho. Ly. Shit.

Chael: Okay, so basically we stood outside of the movie theater for about what felt like forever times infinity huddled together like two retarded outcast penguins, starring at passersby like "WTF you lookin at?!? you don't know me! you don't know what I got!" ... so after about twenty minutes of weird looks and rude comments, Brookies dad finally came and picked us up. all was going well, we were warm, we had the radio, we were okay again, AND THEN OH MY FUCKING CHEERIOS A BABY DEER JUMPS OUT INTO THE ROAD.  all like "hey mother fuckers, I'm a fucking dear! and I'm in your way! try and get past me ass holes! hahahahaha!! -death-" except that we didn't really hit it. It just stood there for about a minute and a half occasionally going back and forth across the road like it couldn't make up its frackin mind where it wanted to almost die next.


Moral of the story: Deer are fuckin crazy ass emo bitches.