I would have sex with that unicorn.
That is all.
-Brookie.
P.S.: Chael drew it. But I named it >3
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
THANKSGIVING WITH CHAEL.
Chael: First of all... happy Thanksgiving. Second of all, I can't move... it feels like I'm six months overdue with a food baby... possibly twins.
But other than being four pounds heavier than this morning, I would just like to state that, my family is frackin huge, and this makes Thanksgiving amazing. Imagine a huge table, with 25 people crowded around it, passing plates of food back and forth, and two of these people are pregnant. Before you say anything, yes I have acknowledged the fact, that my family breeds like bunnies.
Anyway, I just wanted to make a post, wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving.... Don't really know how to end this.. so I just will.
Brookie: Brookie here. Happy thanksgiving, Losers. :D Haha, just kidding. Yes, my thanksgiving was amazing too. And I think my food-baby is kicking. Argh.
I had a great time with my family on my dad's side, and I love them to death. Have you EVER tried fried turkey? No? You should. It's fucking awesome.
Anyway, happy holidays!
THE END
But other than being four pounds heavier than this morning, I would just like to state that, my family is frackin huge, and this makes Thanksgiving amazing. Imagine a huge table, with 25 people crowded around it, passing plates of food back and forth, and two of these people are pregnant. Before you say anything, yes I have acknowledged the fact, that my family breeds like bunnies.
Anyway, I just wanted to make a post, wishing you all a happy Thanksgiving.... Don't really know how to end this.. so I just will.
Brookie: Brookie here. Happy thanksgiving, Losers. :D Haha, just kidding. Yes, my thanksgiving was amazing too. And I think my food-baby is kicking. Argh.
I had a great time with my family on my dad's side, and I love them to death. Have you EVER tried fried turkey? No? You should. It's fucking awesome.
Anyway, happy holidays!
THE END
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Chael's many Quotes.
"Oh look, it's a cocky-roach. -turns water on-. Now it's in the drain."
Chael: This one time at youth group- Nuff said.
PS: unicorn meat.
Chael: This one time at youth group- Nuff said.
PS: unicorn meat.
Monday, November 22, 2010
POOR COW.
^Awesomest thing evar.
If you expected this post to be about cows because of the misleading name, I am sad to inform you, if you have not already noticed, that this post has nothing to do with cows. I was just trying to think of a name for this post, and looked up and on TV was a cow stuck in a lye pit, so I named my post what i had said upon seeing it, to express my sympathy.
Brookie: Wow, Rach. I have to say I'm extremely impressed with the drawings you put up. So if you haven't noticed, I'm the grammar geek and Rachael's the artistic one. She drew that thingy up there. The big giraffe with the inverse rainbow. It's fucking beast. Just thought I'd put my two sense in. Brookie, out!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
A CHANGE OF SCENERY.
I'm going to start a new post, because I'm quite sure Chael will log on later to edit and add in her part of this story anyway. Last night was Chael's birthday party; and we did a few... well, let's put it this way. I feel like we were stalked last night.
Chael thought it would be a good idea, at 3 AM in the morning, to go down to this creepy hunter's house by the river. There's a pier there, and it's a good quarter of a mile's walk to get there. Of course, I was all for this. I was so excited that I nearly pissed myself.
That was sarcasm, by the way. I kept saying it was a bad idea, as well as one of our other friends. You know how you get that feeling when you're about to do something amazing, like you just want to go, FUCK YEAH?
We did not have those feelings. But along we went, our group of five, down the path, all holding onto eachother in some way or another, and talking. Our wolf-dog guide, who we will call KiKi, lead the way. Well, mostly. Sometimes she would stop, and now that I think about it, I think she was probably staring at us like, Hahaha, Assholes, I know something you don't and you're about to get fuuuuucked up. But then she would follow us, or lead the way again.
We finally got to the creepy house, and the pier. And guess what, guys? There was mist over the river. Can you say freaky? Anyway, Chael and I along with another friend, went up to the house. Our friend, who we'll call D, stood on the steps while Chael and I went in. Chael had a light, while I had a camera. We went in, and I filmed while she shined her mighty Ipod touch light. Then, out of no where, there's a huge-ass white flash behind us and we turned and hissed at D, who had taken a picture.
Chael: Why in the hell did you do that?
Brookie: Oh, Oh, Oh, I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Not a good idea.
D: I'm sorry, jeeze.
So, finally, we were walking out of the house after my insistence that this was indeed a bad idea, and we stopped, because I got freaked out.
Something was in the woods. And at first, we thought it was KiKi. But, then we walked towards our other two friends, (who again, we'll call K and M), and KiKi was already near them. We heard the noise again. And it wasn't the wolf-dog guide. It was heavier. Two-footed.
We ran like hell.
We ran and kept running and only stopped a few times to try and hear the noise again, but it kept following us, so we'd run again until we couldn't anymore and we realized KiKi was no longer with us. We called for her, but then decided it was a better idea to keep moving and call for her later.
Finally, we got to Chael's house, and we sat in the gravel in front of it, talking. We were breathless and a little creeped out. Now, in the middle of this, something even scarier happened. We heard something that sounded like either a motorcycle coming towards us, making the BBBBRRRUMM BRUM noise, or it was a tractor backfiring.
M: Chael, something's coming down your road!
Chael: Shit! Go go!
We ran up the stairs, and then turned. But, nothing was there. This made the situation even worse, so went inside, dead-silent.
Fast-forward about ten minutes. We're sitting on Chael's living room floor, talking about what had just happened. Again, we heard this noise, but this time it was definately louder, seeing as we all heard it through the house. Chael stood up, jumped over all of us, and ran to her front door. KiKi had reappeared, sitting straight up with her ears perked. She had definately heard it, too. But there was nothing there. This is what bugs us.
Anyway, that was our night last night, or rather, our morning. Very eventful it was, young padawan.
CHAEL: In agreement with Brookie, yes it was a very eventful night. I was scared shitless, because in my mind, the BBBBRRRUUUMMM BRUM sound was in fact made by an ax murderer who wanted our blood and body parts for experiments....
Over all, I had fun. I enjoy scary shit like this, that makes you pee yourself a little because something or someone is chasing you down your dark, scary, moonlit trail, and all you can do is run like a little defenseless white girl, cause thats exactly what you are. I don't know how the rest of the crew felt... I imagine scared, based on the terrified screams coming from behind me as I haled ass.
Chael thought it would be a good idea, at 3 AM in the morning, to go down to this creepy hunter's house by the river. There's a pier there, and it's a good quarter of a mile's walk to get there. Of course, I was all for this. I was so excited that I nearly pissed myself.
That was sarcasm, by the way. I kept saying it was a bad idea, as well as one of our other friends. You know how you get that feeling when you're about to do something amazing, like you just want to go, FUCK YEAH?
We did not have those feelings. But along we went, our group of five, down the path, all holding onto eachother in some way or another, and talking. Our wolf-dog guide, who we will call KiKi, lead the way. Well, mostly. Sometimes she would stop, and now that I think about it, I think she was probably staring at us like, Hahaha, Assholes, I know something you don't and you're about to get fuuuuucked up. But then she would follow us, or lead the way again.
We finally got to the creepy house, and the pier. And guess what, guys? There was mist over the river. Can you say freaky? Anyway, Chael and I along with another friend, went up to the house. Our friend, who we'll call D, stood on the steps while Chael and I went in. Chael had a light, while I had a camera. We went in, and I filmed while she shined her mighty Ipod touch light. Then, out of no where, there's a huge-ass white flash behind us and we turned and hissed at D, who had taken a picture.
Chael: Why in the hell did you do that?
Brookie: Oh, Oh, Oh, I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Not a good idea.
D: I'm sorry, jeeze.
So, finally, we were walking out of the house after my insistence that this was indeed a bad idea, and we stopped, because I got freaked out.
Something was in the woods. And at first, we thought it was KiKi. But, then we walked towards our other two friends, (who again, we'll call K and M), and KiKi was already near them. We heard the noise again. And it wasn't the wolf-dog guide. It was heavier. Two-footed.
We ran like hell.
We ran and kept running and only stopped a few times to try and hear the noise again, but it kept following us, so we'd run again until we couldn't anymore and we realized KiKi was no longer with us. We called for her, but then decided it was a better idea to keep moving and call for her later.
Finally, we got to Chael's house, and we sat in the gravel in front of it, talking. We were breathless and a little creeped out. Now, in the middle of this, something even scarier happened. We heard something that sounded like either a motorcycle coming towards us, making the BBBBRRRUMM BRUM noise, or it was a tractor backfiring.
M: Chael, something's coming down your road!
Chael: Shit! Go go!
We ran up the stairs, and then turned. But, nothing was there. This made the situation even worse, so went inside, dead-silent.
Fast-forward about ten minutes. We're sitting on Chael's living room floor, talking about what had just happened. Again, we heard this noise, but this time it was definately louder, seeing as we all heard it through the house. Chael stood up, jumped over all of us, and ran to her front door. KiKi had reappeared, sitting straight up with her ears perked. She had definately heard it, too. But there was nothing there. This is what bugs us.
Anyway, that was our night last night, or rather, our morning. Very eventful it was, young padawan.
CHAEL: In agreement with Brookie, yes it was a very eventful night. I was scared shitless, because in my mind, the BBBBRRRUUUMMM BRUM sound was in fact made by an ax murderer who wanted our blood and body parts for experiments....
Over all, I had fun. I enjoy scary shit like this, that makes you pee yourself a little because something or someone is chasing you down your dark, scary, moonlit trail, and all you can do is run like a little defenseless white girl, cause thats exactly what you are. I don't know how the rest of the crew felt... I imagine scared, based on the terrified screams coming from behind me as I haled ass.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
AWKWARD RIBBON.
Chael: So today, we were watching T.V. and there was this lady who eats chalk......What the fudge?.... Chalk? Really?... Anyways.
So this morning my sister was leaving for this place where you put a ribbon on your Christmas tree, and then come back later and chop it down... Problem is, she couldn't find a ribbon... and a couple days earlier she had given me this stuffed giraffe with a ribbon tied around it... long story short, she wanted THAT ribbon... I was devastated.
My sister: Hey, I can't find any ribbon, and the only one I can think of is the blue one on your giraffe... Can I have it?
Me (Chael): D: .... What?
My sister: Can I have the blue ribbon....?
Me: You want to kill my giraffe?!?
My sister: No? How would I be killing it?
Me: YOU'RE TAKING A PART OF IT AWAY!
My sister: No I'm not, what the heck, its not even attached to the giraffe.
Me: Your child isn't attached to you, but he's still a part of you!!
My sister: ..... Never mind.
Brookie: MEANWHILE....
While all this was happening, I was just sitting here.... feeling awkward. As usual, around Chael's family.
I tend to think of Chael and myself almost like Opposites with a whole hell of a lot of the same interests, which is why we work so well together and I love her dearly. LIKE A SISTER, freaks.
Anyway, While I was sitting here, eating my cereal, instead of facing the situation that was going on, I was staring down at it and imagining that it was making noises, like the rice crispies cereal. Because I was trying so hard not to be included in the conversation. The sounds kinda went like this:
Cereal: Bloop. Boooppppppp bee doop.
Me: Oh, what magical cereal.
Cereal: Blooooppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedoop. Doop. Rawr!
Me: Why is me cereal growling at me?
In the background, Chael and her sister are arguing over her ribbon. But still, I listen to my cereal and it's strange noises.
Cereal: I say we take the ribbon ourselves! Mwahaha!
Me: Shut up, you're supposed to make noises.
Cereal: ...Beep? :D
Me: No, Shut the fuck up, cereal.
At this point Chael and I had started talking and now the cereal bowl itself is empty. But I have a feeling it's glaring at us right now, watching us. Like, 'Bitch, where did you take my children?' I think Chael's scared now because now she's looked over the computer screen and stared at it with a hint of fear in her eyes.
Brookie: You okay, Chael? o.O
Chael: Yeah... the cereal bowl just sounded really mean in the way you portrayed it, and I don't think you were being very fair to it since you just held your cereal for about fifteen minutes while you ate it.
Brookie: ....That's the point of cereal, Chael. You eat it. It shouldn't make noises, though in my mind that can very well happen... And it was mean cereal in my mind! It wanted to steal your ribbon!
Chael: ...... The bitch!
At this point, Chael is glaring at coffee table where the cereal bowl rests with a disgusted look.
Brookie: ... You do realize that was just my imagination, right? The bowl's not actually, you know, plotting to steal your ribbon?
Chael: Thats what you think.
Brookie: .... Yes, that is exactly what I think. It was the ONLY thing I WAS thinking. It was all my IMAGINATION.
Chael: ....Your mother.
Brookie: ...My mother what? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!
Chael: ..... I don't know, I didn't think that far ahead.
Brookie: Again, you're a horrible person. And I think you have a few mental issues.
Chael: ....... Ploof...
This is where this conversation, and post ends, because I think Chael's having a mental-breakdown-day.
So this morning my sister was leaving for this place where you put a ribbon on your Christmas tree, and then come back later and chop it down... Problem is, she couldn't find a ribbon... and a couple days earlier she had given me this stuffed giraffe with a ribbon tied around it... long story short, she wanted THAT ribbon... I was devastated.
My sister: Hey, I can't find any ribbon, and the only one I can think of is the blue one on your giraffe... Can I have it?
Me (Chael): D: .... What?
My sister: Can I have the blue ribbon....?
Me: You want to kill my giraffe?!?
My sister: No? How would I be killing it?
Me: YOU'RE TAKING A PART OF IT AWAY!
My sister: No I'm not, what the heck, its not even attached to the giraffe.
Me: Your child isn't attached to you, but he's still a part of you!!
My sister: ..... Never mind.
Brookie: MEANWHILE....
While all this was happening, I was just sitting here.... feeling awkward. As usual, around Chael's family.
I tend to think of Chael and myself almost like Opposites with a whole hell of a lot of the same interests, which is why we work so well together and I love her dearly. LIKE A SISTER, freaks.
Anyway, While I was sitting here, eating my cereal, instead of facing the situation that was going on, I was staring down at it and imagining that it was making noises, like the rice crispies cereal. Because I was trying so hard not to be included in the conversation. The sounds kinda went like this:
Cereal: Bloop. Boooppppppp bee doop.
Me: Oh, what magical cereal.
Cereal: Blooooppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedoop. Doop. Rawr!
Me: Why is me cereal growling at me?
In the background, Chael and her sister are arguing over her ribbon. But still, I listen to my cereal and it's strange noises.
Cereal: I say we take the ribbon ourselves! Mwahaha!
Me: Shut up, you're supposed to make noises.
Cereal: ...Beep? :D
Me: No, Shut the fuck up, cereal.
At this point Chael and I had started talking and now the cereal bowl itself is empty. But I have a feeling it's glaring at us right now, watching us. Like, 'Bitch, where did you take my children?' I think Chael's scared now because now she's looked over the computer screen and stared at it with a hint of fear in her eyes.
Brookie: You okay, Chael? o.O
Chael: Yeah... the cereal bowl just sounded really mean in the way you portrayed it, and I don't think you were being very fair to it since you just held your cereal for about fifteen minutes while you ate it.
Brookie: ....That's the point of cereal, Chael. You eat it. It shouldn't make noises, though in my mind that can very well happen... And it was mean cereal in my mind! It wanted to steal your ribbon!
Chael: ...... The bitch!
At this point, Chael is glaring at coffee table where the cereal bowl rests with a disgusted look.
Brookie: ... You do realize that was just my imagination, right? The bowl's not actually, you know, plotting to steal your ribbon?
Chael: Thats what you think.
Brookie: .... Yes, that is exactly what I think. It was the ONLY thing I WAS thinking. It was all my IMAGINATION.
Chael: ....Your mother.
Brookie: ...My mother what? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!
Chael: ..... I don't know, I didn't think that far ahead.
Brookie: Again, you're a horrible person. And I think you have a few mental issues.
Chael: ....... Ploof...
This is where this conversation, and post ends, because I think Chael's having a mental-breakdown-day.
Friday, November 19, 2010
FIRST POST. EVER.
So you might be wondering..... What did Chael and Brookie do today? ... Well, actually, you're probably not wondering what we did, but guess what? You're gonna find out anyway. And like it.
...Or we'll make you feel all awkward inside.
This is how our most current conversation went:
Chael: ...What did we do today?
Brookie: Well, today... I, um... I ate a cookie. What'd you do?
Chael: Nothing...... breathed.
Brookie: Nothing? That's it? You breathed?
Chael: Hey, breathing is hard work.
Brookie: ....Yeah. If you're a retarded fish that's out of water.
Chael: ..... Fuck your couch.
Brookie: Only if you don't breathe like a retarded fish that's out of water. :D
Chael: Fine, but you have to stop acting like one first.
Brookie: One what? A retarded fish that's out of water? I'm so sorry, I'll stop breathing then. Hope you enjoyed killing the retarded fish, Chael.
Chael: I feel fulfilled, yes.
Brookie: You're a horrible person. You know that?
Chael: Yeah.
Brookie: I bet you like to kick puppies too. And I bet you like to shove small children and laugh. Don't you? DON'T YOU?!?!
Chael: I only like to kick and shove the ugly ones. I only laugh when the children cry, and the puppies feel unwanted and abused.
Brookie: .... You have a dark mind inside that miniature body of your's. I now feel unsafe sitting next to you. If you're reading this, call the police.
Chael: Don't really call the police...
Brookie: If you were really going to call the police, you deserve to be kicked and shoved like an ugly puppy-child.
Chael: Hahaha... "puppy-child" .. What would that look like?
Brookie: I'm pretty sure it'd look like your first-born child, Chael. Or a worpletinger. Those things are freaking AWESOME.
Chael: That makes no sense, considering the worpletinger is part bunny, part moose, part sabertooth, and part nightmare, and has no child-puppy parts whatsoever.
Brookie: I love how you didn't deny that you were going to have sex with a dog at one point in your life and have a child-puppy. You're a strange person.
Chael: You know who's a strange person?.... Your mother. And I'm a stranger person? You're the one who was just petting me while whispering, "Pretty, pretty, pretty".... and you know my puppy-child would be cute as hell.
Brookie: So you admit to wanting to have a puppy child? Hey, if you're out there reading this, Chael's looking for some Hot-dogs. Get it? Hot dogs? No?.... And I can't help it. Your hair is like a soft, fluffy blanket of hairy goodness that I can't help but want to touch....
Chael: ...... O.O .....ANYWAY... I just want to clarify that I have no intention of turning to beastiality-....(Okay, I just now had to look up how to spell beastiality- And by the way, I got a lot of porn links- And while doing so, accidentally closed blogger. It was a unnerving seven seconds. But, luckily, blogger is awesome and saves your shit auto-magically and we didn't have to start this whole post over...which, we would not have done because I would have given up.)-.... later in my life.
Brookie: So soft, and light, blowing and bouncing in the wind... just sooooo touchable.... This entire time I've been thinking about your haaaair....
And this is where we end the post, because I feel that things are going to a dark place.
Brookie: But it never ends, Chael.
It NEVER ends.
Chael: Yes, it does.
...Or we'll make you feel all awkward inside.
This is how our most current conversation went:
Chael: ...What did we do today?
Brookie: Well, today... I, um... I ate a cookie. What'd you do?
Chael: Nothing...... breathed.
Brookie: Nothing? That's it? You breathed?
Chael: Hey, breathing is hard work.
Brookie: ....Yeah. If you're a retarded fish that's out of water.
Chael: ..... Fuck your couch.
Brookie: Only if you don't breathe like a retarded fish that's out of water. :D
Chael: Fine, but you have to stop acting like one first.
Brookie: One what? A retarded fish that's out of water? I'm so sorry, I'll stop breathing then. Hope you enjoyed killing the retarded fish, Chael.
Chael: I feel fulfilled, yes.
Brookie: You're a horrible person. You know that?
Chael: Yeah.
Brookie: I bet you like to kick puppies too. And I bet you like to shove small children and laugh. Don't you? DON'T YOU?!?!
Chael: I only like to kick and shove the ugly ones. I only laugh when the children cry, and the puppies feel unwanted and abused.
Brookie: .... You have a dark mind inside that miniature body of your's. I now feel unsafe sitting next to you. If you're reading this, call the police.
Chael: Don't really call the police...
Brookie: If you were really going to call the police, you deserve to be kicked and shoved like an ugly puppy-child.
Chael: Hahaha... "puppy-child" .. What would that look like?
Brookie: I'm pretty sure it'd look like your first-born child, Chael. Or a worpletinger. Those things are freaking AWESOME.
Chael: That makes no sense, considering the worpletinger is part bunny, part moose, part sabertooth, and part nightmare, and has no child-puppy parts whatsoever.
Brookie: I love how you didn't deny that you were going to have sex with a dog at one point in your life and have a child-puppy. You're a strange person.
Chael: You know who's a strange person?.... Your mother. And I'm a stranger person? You're the one who was just petting me while whispering, "Pretty, pretty, pretty".... and you know my puppy-child would be cute as hell.
Brookie: So you admit to wanting to have a puppy child? Hey, if you're out there reading this, Chael's looking for some Hot-dogs. Get it? Hot dogs? No?.... And I can't help it. Your hair is like a soft, fluffy blanket of hairy goodness that I can't help but want to touch....
Chael: ...... O.O .....ANYWAY... I just want to clarify that I have no intention of turning to beastiality-....(Okay, I just now had to look up how to spell beastiality- And by the way, I got a lot of porn links- And while doing so, accidentally closed blogger. It was a unnerving seven seconds. But, luckily, blogger is awesome and saves your shit auto-magically and we didn't have to start this whole post over...which, we would not have done because I would have given up.)-.... later in my life.
Brookie: So soft, and light, blowing and bouncing in the wind... just sooooo touchable.... This entire time I've been thinking about your haaaair....
And this is where we end the post, because I feel that things are going to a dark place.
Brookie: But it never ends, Chael.
It NEVER ends.
Chael: Yes, it does.
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