Once upon a time there was this guy and he was good looking, but then he met this lepricon see, and the lepricon was jealous so he switched faces with him. And so now somewhere out there theres a guy with the face of a small red headed man and somewhere else out there (probably not in the same place because the used-to-be-hot-guy made an everlasting vow to find the hot lepricon and punish him for his hanis crimes by hanging him by his toes over a pile of pickle juice. Yes, a pile of pickle juice) theres a hot little man in green, who probably gets all the babes.
THE END
Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
MY CHILDHOOD WAS FULL OF BLOOD, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES, AND OSTRICHES. PART 3
Well, I guess I'll finish my amazing trilogy, cause I know all 1 of you are dying to know how i almost died.... That and every time me and Brookie hang out we don't feel like writing a post.... because.. well, we're awesome (We really are) and have more productive things to do with our lives (No we don't)
Anyways, there is a lot of times in my life where I have looked upon deaths ugly face. But all of those times were pretty much because I was just fooling around on high places and running with knives. Or that one time when I climbed onto the roof and couldn't get down so I decided to jump and or fall.... Yeah... I was a stupid child.
The only serious time that I was in real, life threatening danger, was when I had pneumonia... The first time... I recently just got out of the hospital for the second time...The first time was when I was about seven...No I am not sickly.... God... I have no idea how I'm going to make this funny. But I'll try, by using words like amazing, face eating monster who sucks the air from you, butt crunch and draw string.... Yeah.
So, here it goes : THE TIME I ALMOST SERIOUSLY DIED.
It was a cold dark, stormy night ( I really don't remember whether it was stormy or not ) I was about seven years of age (maybe six) laying on parents bed... coughing and gasping for air (Oh god this sounds depressing) My mom was frantic and scared. Which was making me wan't to just go ahead and die already because I was getting really annoyed at her asking me if I was doing any better every five seconds. Of course I'm not doing any better I had fucking pneumonia for shits sake! (I'm really contemplating just telling the roof story, cause making this funny is hard...) (To make this better heres a text picture of boobs ( . Y . ) .... As you can see I'm desperate... Just like your mom was last night! OHHHHH... did I just insult myself?... Anyway) Yeah I had pneumonia.... It sucked.. I wen't to the hospital and some shit brained doctor gave me the wrong medicine and almost killed me..... All I remember is laying there hooked up to one of those machines that helps you do things you would normally be doing.... While my mother cried.... Yeah it was a sad story... Get over it....... The amazing Butt munch, face eating monster, who sucks air from you, likes to pull on your draw string. There, are you happy?
THE END
I officially dub this post a FAIL.... But I dubbed my own fail so that makes it a win..... I do not understand the rules of the internet. GOOD NIGHT!
Anyways, there is a lot of times in my life where I have looked upon deaths ugly face. But all of those times were pretty much because I was just fooling around on high places and running with knives. Or that one time when I climbed onto the roof and couldn't get down so I decided to jump and or fall.... Yeah... I was a stupid child.
The only serious time that I was in real, life threatening danger, was when I had pneumonia... The first time... I recently just got out of the hospital for the second time...The first time was when I was about seven...No I am not sickly.... God... I have no idea how I'm going to make this funny. But I'll try, by using words like amazing, face eating monster who sucks the air from you, butt crunch and draw string.... Yeah.
So, here it goes : THE TIME I ALMOST SERIOUSLY DIED.
It was a cold dark, stormy night ( I really don't remember whether it was stormy or not ) I was about seven years of age (maybe six) laying on parents bed... coughing and gasping for air (Oh god this sounds depressing) My mom was frantic and scared. Which was making me wan't to just go ahead and die already because I was getting really annoyed at her asking me if I was doing any better every five seconds. Of course I'm not doing any better I had fucking pneumonia for shits sake! (I'm really contemplating just telling the roof story, cause making this funny is hard...) (To make this better heres a text picture of boobs ( . Y . ) .... As you can see I'm desperate... Just like your mom was last night! OHHHHH... did I just insult myself?... Anyway) Yeah I had pneumonia.... It sucked.. I wen't to the hospital and some shit brained doctor gave me the wrong medicine and almost killed me..... All I remember is laying there hooked up to one of those machines that helps you do things you would normally be doing.... While my mother cried.... Yeah it was a sad story... Get over it....... The amazing Butt munch, face eating monster, who sucks air from you, likes to pull on your draw string. There, are you happy?
THE END
I officially dub this post a FAIL.... But I dubbed my own fail so that makes it a win..... I do not understand the rules of the internet. GOOD NIGHT!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
MY CHILDHOOD WAS FULL OF BLOOD, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES, AND OSTRICHES. PART 2
This is a continuation of MY LIFE WAS FULL OF BLOOD, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES, AND OSTRICHES. If you haven't read it, here it is. http://theawkwardtimes.blogspot.com/2010/12/my-childhood-was-full-of-blood-near.html
Okay, so this story is properly named "THE TIME MY BROTHER BIT MY HEAD" And you're about to find out why... Actually its pretty obvious why. But still were going to pretend like you have no idea what this story is about.
So, one night I was laying down on my grandmothers bed, peacefully watching TV. I was about eight years of age and had no idea that my life would soon be shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.
So there i was, laying down, with my brother in a chair positioned close beside the bed. I was as happy as can be, so content with my life, so thankful for my family AND OMG MY BROTHER DROPS HIS HEAD AND HIS TEETH GO INTO MY SKULL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, so this story is properly named "THE TIME MY BROTHER BIT MY HEAD" And you're about to find out why... Actually its pretty obvious why. But still were going to pretend like you have no idea what this story is about.
So, one night I was laying down on my grandmothers bed, peacefully watching TV. I was about eight years of age and had no idea that my life would soon be shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.
So there i was, laying down, with my brother in a chair positioned close beside the bed. I was as happy as can be, so content with my life, so thankful for my family AND OMG MY BROTHER DROPS HIS HEAD AND HIS TEETH GO INTO MY SKULL!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was blood... everywhere. There was also hole in my head.
So, at the sight of all the red stuff spewing from my cranium, my mom of course, is concerned about my brother the vampire's well being.... Until she realized that the only reason my brother's face was covered in blood was because it was overflowing from me. It kinda wen't something like this.
CHOMP!!!!!!
Me: O.O
My brother: OWE!! MY TOOTH!
My mom: :O OH MY GOD, JAKE!..... HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CHAEL!!!!!!!!!
And then I was taken to the hospital. Where an over friendly doctor stitched up my head, while telling me his whole life story. And when I got home I had to clean up my own blood and listen to my brother piss and moan about how I hurt his mouth.
And that was the time my brother became momentarily blind and didn't see me laying there so he flopped his tired little head down and cut my skull open.
THE END.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)